Here at the DUI Foundation, we’re excited to partner with Carrie Armstrong, with the How To Be A Sober Girl blog. You can check out her blog here. Over the next thirty days, she has committed to a How To Be A Sober Girl 30 Day Kickstart campaign and we’ll be sharing her stories right here.
And without any more time, here’s Day Twenty Seven:
A significant part of shoring up our sobriety or cutting down on the amount we drink, (and both involve using exactly the same tools) is ensuring we don’t set ourselves up for instant failure before we even begin. And the biggest way we set ourselves up for this instant failure is the way we describe how we are going to shore up our sobriety, or cut down. and the most common way we do that is by using these phrases:
I’m on day 1 again
Back to Square One for me
I’m determined to do it this time around.
We absolutely cannot find our way to successful sobriety by deliberately intending to go down the same well-worn path that has lead us back to alcohol abuse time after time. I can’t be done. When we treat cessation of drinking like it’s something we have done before? It’s akin to stepping onto a treadmill and expecting to move forward. We may put the miles in by running on the spot and we will exert energy that feels like action-but ultimately we are only running on the spot and going nowhere.
We must treat this like it is the absolute first time we have tried to tackle our drinking. It must be something that feels new & like an adventure. That’s how it feels o be on a new path moving forwards. If there are any feelings of weariness or resignation? That is our greatest indicator that we have deviated from the path and placed ourselves on the treadmill. And the treadmill can only lead to drinking. Because it is dull and dreary.
Back to square one or counting it as day one is not only defeatest, it’s totally inaccurate. Life doesn’t start over. we are all growing and learning from our experiences. Every single day we experience something new and become a bigger person in response to it. To try and go backwards is illogical. Life doesn’t go backwards. We can’t ever know less than we know today. We can only grow bigger and learn more. It’s not day one of anything, it’s a continuation of our constant evolution, of learning who we really are and what we really like. Which is the crux of all successful recovery.
So. Start to acknowledge how you feel about your journey into the cessation of drinking. If the feelings you have aren’t good-feeling or new? Go look for newness. go look for excitement. Go see the world with new eyes. Stay the hell away from dreary feelings or well-worn familiar downbeat thoughts. If you are reading blog posts from people determined to drag you into their Day one Square mentality? Shut the page down. Don’t participate in that drinking forum discussion. Or rather, see how it plays out and watch that person unfortunately go back to drinking and see the truth of what I’m saying for yourself.
The New Path can only lead you to a wonderful new life. The Treadmill is simply running on the spot.